Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

JayDANIEL Stack  

“Oh hey, look at my brain and how big its is...and its overly efficient plasticity...and its gaping thalamus allowing me to hastily suck in total information like a black hole whose favorite cuisine is cosmic knowledge of everything” says JayDaniel’s head to me. As JayDaniel’s teacher I am stuck in a labyrinth of cognizance with a superior four pound melon screaming “Give me something to feed on!” So, I throw it some raw persuasive practice, but the unruly encephalon disintegrates the substance, disgustingly chewing with its mouth open and mocking me [envision the 1986 movie Little Shop of Horrors]. “Give me something to play with!” So, I garner some aid and surrender an offering of research and academic writing to the wonder dome...confused on how to begin at first...then tearing into the succulent flesh with the vigor of a giant Tiger mosquito in a blood bank...kinda foul really. JayDaniel Stack, super nice young man with alotta blue sky ahead of him...JayDaniel’s brain, though is one tough hombre. Congrats Jayden Stack - English Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Brendinh Sayaloune  

Rarely does a day fritter away into the abyss of time and memory one doesn’t obtain new knowledge for continued existence or skill set for humanistic advancement: adding peanut butter to oatmeal equals taste explosion, pearl snap shirts foster instant swagtastic, offering random individuals with chapped lips chapstick is a poor idea. The most recent revelation, however, has come in the form of a letter...lower case ‘h’ to be exact. Brendinh (notice the h) Sayaloune has proven that adding a lowercase ‘h’ to endings makes them exponentially better. Don’t believe this hypothesis? According to the Baby Name Encyclopaedia there are 25 derivatives of his name - ZERO (regardless of geographical local) are spelled ending in ‘h’. Coincidence...no way...ya don’t just ‘find’ a leprechaun or mermaid. Brendinh’s current throwdown of the English writing workshop likens Luke Skywalker’s use of the force in a Chuck E. Cheese...OVERT DOMINANCE...and further proves the magic of ending in lower case ‘h’.  So Congrats Brendinh Sayaloune...English Geek of the Week and wielder of ye lightsaber pen.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Jayden Garrett  

Jayden is a sniper. Not in the traditional military denotation, but metaphorical connotation. She silently, attentively hunts...and whatever she pursues ends up in her lethal crosshairs...and whatever ends up in her 80x56mm crosshairs...finds itself desolately hanging on her wall. Time is of little importance; only task completion (the electronic time stamps on my email inbox prove this factoid). Timed essays are tracked, pursued, bagged and logged. Jayden applies more camouflage, cuts another notch in her belt and begins again. Next up, scholarship essays (stealthy little dogs) become stalked, chased, shaked and baked. Jayden’s accuracy rating is near perfect with a grouping under .1 inches and 100% target acquisition. Lesson Learned, keep her sights off you, especially if you smell like ice cream or enjoy Advanced Placement Calculus ‘cause ur go-in down! Congrats Jayden Garrett, English Geek of the Week.