Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Isaac Brodrick

‘We are judged by how we finish, not by how we start’ stated Isaac Brodrick as I sincerely congratulated him on finishing the semester out academically powerful. I then confessed two truths to Isaac. The first truth was that I tried to break him - make him give up - quit - relinquish - wave the white flag - renunciar - surrender - tap out. Instead, Mr. Brodrick decided to bear down - unwaver - stand firm - wrangle - finalize - maintain reckless abandon - luchar - finish in successful elegance. ‘Well Mr. Uhing...’ stated Isaac ‘...sometimes there are people you come across with greater cognitive artillery than you possess; people you shouldn’t mess with; people who understand the language arts are a Tough Mudder not a 100 meter dash.’ After an awkward moment of silence and me pretending to time my shoe, I reiterated his resilient fortitude the last few weeks of the semester. As we parted, Isaac said ‘Hey, wasn’t there a second truth you were going to confess?’ ‘Oh yeah…’, I stated with definitiveness ‘...you are one hip, fashionably sensitive gentlemen.’ Congrats Isaac Brodrick, English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Curtis McMann  

Curtisimo McMann is the Little Golden Book quintessence of concentration and production. Each day Curtisimo enters class with a juice container, PBJ, breakfast pizza, and most importantly a genuine positive attitude and ‘Good Morning’. Each new unit is welcomed with alacrity and knowledge of him completing it successfully just like The Little Engine That Could. Moreover, Curtisimo proves fearless and focused tackling this new material just like Scuffy The TugBoat; he is never afraid to ask questions or answer questions likening The Pokey Little Puppy. Speaking of focus, Curtisimo has been as temperate and consistent as A Day At The SeaShore. Curtisimo fits into class just like any ‘ol member of The Jolly Barnyard but often acts like The Little Red Hen ensuring he maintains all facets of progression, stability, and work ethic. Congrats to you Tootle … or I mean Curtisimo McMann, English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Greg McCallum

Captain McCallum was a brave soldier; one of the top three on the front lines trying to conquer the epic beast that is EXAMLET. He smote, ‘with bloody execution’ the Characterization Cavalry. The Plot Infantry also posed minimal threat as Captain McCallum proved ‘cruel to be kind’. Archers of Short Answer tripped-up the valiant trooper, but he never fell knowing that ‘the cat will mew and dog have his day’. “I will ‘take arms against a sea of troubles” cried the Captain, but wounded he was ‘suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ at the hands of the Line Identification Air Attack unit. Captain McCallum, however, did not concede victory until he met the Shakespearian Cerberus. At that point he knew ‘sugaring over the devil himself’ was an impossibility. When asked about his noble efforts leading the charge against EXAMLET, Captain McCallum stated ‘by the image of my cause, I see the portraiture of his’. So, Congrats Gregory McCallum English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Marcus Aurelius LaPorte

“What we do in life echoes in eternity” stated Marcus Aurelius LaPorte upon being notified of his Geek of the Week status...to which I said “Whoa dude, those are some prognostic quotes you be spit’n out, like something out of the movie Gladiator; like something reflective of your name”...to which he said “Are you not entertained!?!” I then threw up my hands in a defensive position and said “Sorry Marcus Aurelius LaPorte; your prescient terminology sounds familiar.” Marcus then said “Well Mr. Uhing, falling down is how we grow; staying down is how we die” (at this point any individual can visualize my surprise).I said “Marcus Aurelius LaPorte, you are really doing well through this Hamlet unit and seem to be enjoying the text and analysis.” He replied “Ultimately we are all dead men. Sadly we cannot choose how, but we can decided how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered as men.” I then shut my mouth, scratched my head, and gave the new Geek of the Week Marcus Aurelius LaPorte a high five.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Colette Mahr

To be an effective literary critic aka ‘A Regulator’, an individual can’t just be a geek off the street; gotta be handy with the graphite if ya know what I mean - earn your keep… Regulators Mount up!

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon,

yet Colette Mahr was on the streets, write’n words to consume

her Lit teacher’s attentions, while he graded the next eve

she didn’t want to be a punk, just look’n for reprieve.

Colete hit the East side of the CHS

on a mission trying to find texts to assess.

Deconstructing all the words, ain’t no need to freak

all you peeps know who got an ‘A’ on the essay last week.  

Congrats Colette Mahr...English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Naleka Sayaloune

After each unveiling of Geek of the Week, Naleka Sayaloune (like something out of Where the Wild Things Are) stomps his terrible feet, and flexes his terrible muscles, and yells his terrible yell until I say “Enough” and tame him by staring into his crazed eyes without blinking once. Then he implores and bribes and cries and whimpers to be a Geek (kinda funny for a fella sporting such muscular girth). I heartily laugh and say someday...well someday is now. Naleka Sayaloune’s poetic caricatures, The Chadron Tales, produced such commanding and articulate measures, I as his instructor had no alternative but knight him with the esteemed honor. Geoffrey Chaucer, the father of English Literature, would have wept with pride at Naleka’s use of enjambment, end stops, rhyme schemes, and iambic pentameter. Congrats Naleka Sayaloune...English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Andrew Smith

Looking at Andrew Smith, a fine young lad, the average ‘Joe’ or ‘Mary’ would say to themself, “Self, that Andrew Smith is a good and average lad. I bet he writes/illustrates good and average children’s texts for good and average juveniles.” Oh, how incorrect ‘Joe’ and ‘Mary’ are in their overtly biased and superficial assumptions about Andrew Smith and his authorial abilities. Andrew just finished writing an award winning children’s book; ‘Put Me In The House’ [a satire using Dr. Seuss's famed ‘Put Me In The Zoo’ as a medium] illustrates Donald Trump's’ attempts to garner the presidency. Was the text written for children...no, as the masterfully crafted elements of irony, sarcasm, wit, hyperbole, understatement, and paradox suggest. Will most adults understand the ultimate grandeur of the text...no, especially if their names are ‘Joe’ and/or ‘Mary’. However, Andrew Smith does a fine job with The Donald’s hair. Congrats Andrew Smith, English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Emmy-Party Mills

Hey everybody, here is a sneak peek at part of an ‘original’ song about the current Geek of the Week, and why she earned this prestigious and sought-after merit...Enjoy!

It might seem cray-cray what I'm about to say.

Emmy’s here, you can’t say ‘Go Away’.

I'm all jacked up; she got a smile on her face.

Deuces in the air, like she don't care peeps by the way...

Emmy is happy!

Clap along if you want the Emmy-Party under your roof.

Emmy is happy!

Clap along if you feel like Emmy is a goof.

Emmy is happy!

Clap along if you know the Emmy-Party’s coming for you.

Emmy is happy

Clap along if you feel like the Emmy-Party’s something ya wanna do!

Congrats Emmy-Party Mills, Geek of the Week, for your always positive, progressive attitude.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Mikaela Hastings

Oh please! Don’t judge me. I’ve tried to find a flaw...even fabricate a flaw in Mikaela Hastings. She has missed a total of 16 points...ALL FREAKING QUARTER PEOPLE...not on one assignment or one unit, but on everything. I even sent her to the office to pick up some copies, gave a quick assignment to the class without her knowing (praying for a zero next to her name in the gradebook, so I could publically laugh at and criticize her), yet somehow she still managed to complete the exercise. Is she a Demi-god, cyborg, use drones, have access to Patriot Act...How?  I even cheated! Simply, she makes Senior English look easy, and Mikaela’s perfection is straight-up ruining my street-cred. The only flaw I am able to find is the spelling of her name...who spells Mikaela without a ck? Which, in reflection, is more of a parental flaw than personal defect...Oh, the agony! Congrats girl who misses nothing Mikaela Hastings, Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Josh Redfern

The 1974 film Where the Redfern Grows follows the physical and emotional growth of a boy and his redbone coonhounds in the Ozark Mountains of Oklahoma. In the end, the hounds tragically die and everybody in the world cries when a redfern (plant) grows upon their grave site. Cinemagraphically in Hollywood-land, the story needs to end ripping everyone's heart out; reality dictates a different story. The ‘Redfern’ in the title is actually Josh Redfern. In reality, Josh Redfern saved the boy who fell on the hatchet (completing a miraculous field surgery), punched the puma (which killed Old Dan his lead dog) in the face saving the hound and inadvertently saving Little Ann who died of a broken doggie heart. Post his superhuman efforts, Josh Redfern returned to Chadron High and ACED his Vocabulary Unit 1-4 Review Test. BAM-WHAT! Congrats Josh ‘Where the Redfern Grows’...English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Simon Rischling

It’s a bike...it’s a plane...no it’s Simon Rischling on a bike holding a plane!  Why?  I don’t know, his rationale is well past my cognitive capabilities, but so was his research paper (yes, the research paper he earned an ‘A’ on).  Simon’s research paper on militarizing police forces was so informative, persuasive, and fluent rumors have been circulating around room #207 that the National Organization of Police Chiefs wish for him to spearhead a major campaign on just that topic. Other tittle-tattle from the 207 speculates that Simon himself is his own high profile anonymous interviewed source on the topic.  Further gossip suggests that Simon in fact has a much larger document in which he specifically rolls out a major law enforcement militarized plan. Whatever hearsay is floating about, his research paper (and project as a whole) was off the chain and running free. Congrats Simon Rischling...English Geek of the Week

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Kyle Baumann

Emotion...raw emotion. This instinctive sentiment is what one receives from Kyle Baumann. Upon handing back his research paper I said “Hey Kyle, good job. You were one of three ‘A’ papers”...then he wept, and wept, and wept. When the weeping was nearing creepy classroom interference levels I went to see if Kyle was ok, saying “Kyle are you ok?” He said “ I wan chu wa moo-moo gu-tu wa mi.” Then I said “Kyle, I cannot understand you when you are crying” to which Kyle replied “I huh-huh-huh wep na ya pi”. The we looked at each other awkwardly and he garnered an ounce of composure and said “This is the first ‘A’ I have ever earned on a paper”; my reply was “Well dude, the paper is nutty good...JIF P.B. Extra Crunchy Nutty Good and an ‘A’ well earn”.  Note to self, no more positives for Kyle Baumann because the flood gates opened again with “ You gaga ja bopa ‘Murica chee-chee 2nd Amendment ya fra na…” Congrats Kyle Baumann...English Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Zach Fankhauser

A new Fank-tastic leader has emerged in the Fank-crazy, Fank-changing world of research based writing.  This Fank-incredible dude is none other than Zach Fankhauser. The Fank-diculous amount of labor and toil Zach invested in his Annotated Bibliographies made them Fank-unreal, seriously Fank-inspiring.  So much so that Zach did not miss one point on five Annotated Bibliographies, not one Fank-measly point. Know why? Because he is the Fank-man, that’s why! Big problem now are the expectations for his research paper; they are out of this Fank-world...I’m talk’n Fank-gantuan expectations a teacher should not Fank-ethically possess because they are so Fank-lofty! Oh well, guess it’s his Fank-problem.  Congrats Zach Fankhauser, English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Alida Johnson

I’m on my toes, reeling back, feeling as though a shadow is stalking me.  How can a student complete an assignment before assigned? It’s a conundrum!  It’s a paradox!  It’s an incongruity! For an educator, this reality is quite disturbing and disconcerting.  

Me: “Students, you need to complete a college visit.”

Student: “I completed it this summer Mr. Uhing.”

Me: “Students, you need to complete a job shadow.”

Shadow Student: “I am already done Mr. Uhing.”

Frustrated Me: “Students, complete this scholarship essay.”

Creepy Shadow Student: “Done Mr. Uhing.”

Crying Frustrated Me: “Students, a new list of scholarships are out. Complete two by Thursday.”

Psychic Creepy Shadow Student: “HAHAHAHA DONE U-DAWG...by the way, want me to come in for a picture?”

Anguished Me: “For what?”

Better than Teacher Student: “For Geek of the Week.”

Me: “AHHHHHHH!”

Congrats Alida Johnson...English Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Sylissa ‘Scrabble’ Jennings

The letter ‘S’ three times (one being a capital letter) in her first name…

Nicknamed after a game for wordsmiths and linguistically elite…

Smiles only all the time…

Wears boots because she rides a horse and actually kicks dirt…

Can use a pen, hammer, or hairbrush with equally lethal results...

Underlines answers to reading comprehension questions…

Identifies the main idea of textual passages…

Crushed two weeks of Vocabulary like a giant bones to make bread…

Who ‘dat? Well no other than Sylissa ‘Scrabble’ Jennings, English Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Hannah ‘Montana’ Jamison

Boom chicken soup! Few have begun the year as fast and furious and fantastic and ferocious as Hannah ‘Montana’ Jamison. Two weeks in and Hannah ‘Idaho’ Jamison has yet to lose any points - zero - on any assigned task. Hannah ‘Virginia’ Jamison is proof an individual does not need a break from being “on point”.  Moreover, Hannah ‘Mississippi’ Jamison illustrated that the art of educated questioning has not died a painful, horrible death but leads to superior academic achievement; crazy good worthy of world change. In fact, I am giddy excited to read (at length) Hannah ‘Hawaii’ Jamison’s essays and papers (her Senior year) as Hannah ‘Nebraska’ Jamison’s practice work involving thesis statements, key statements, and conclusions has been unparalleled.  Congrats Geek of the Week Hannah ‘Delaware’ Jamison.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Josh Hill

Consistency: the sun, the moon, the Cubs not winning a world series.

Accuracy: atomic clock, lasik eye surgery, a circus knife thrower

Josh Hill aka ‘The Hill’: consistent and accurate

For eighteen weeks of English IV and eighteen years of life Josh Hill has been consistent as...well...a hill.  Not sure if there is any task this dude cannot complete or issue vast for him to conquer, but if there is, I want to test him with it.  In fact, I believe that if Josh was to challenge Horton the elephant to an egg sitting contest, Josh would not only win, but smother the hatchling to ensure he completed the job. I am sick of writing the letter ‘A’ next to his name in the gradebook...its no fun.  Go graduate and be accurate and consistent somewhere else Josh Hill, I for one am done with you!  Congrats Josh “The Hill”, English Geek of the Week.  

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Princess Shay-Shay Chamberlain

Hear ye, Hear ye! Aristocracy, nobility, knaves, cuckolds, and bawds all hail Princess Shay-Shay, current Empress of Examlet as well as Lady and Duchess of Hamlet.  Shrift thy Lady’s hallowed examination lineaments,  hail the portliness of her theatrical gravity, and beshrew those whose wit be diseased and spit envious venom upon her. Princess Shay-Shay’s Shakespearian and Renaissance victories be sweet summer nectar to thy thievish sparrow.  Too wind-swift to deny, too vulnerable to shelter, too winsome to rebuff.  Oh! Tis bountiful and defeating, a paradox once knotty, now understood. Thus, Congratulations are in order for Princess Shay-Shay...English Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Jayden (Dan) Stack

“My feelings are bruised and sensibilities fractured” cited Jayden as he subtly wept beside my desk.  “Everyone uses me for numbers and good looks.  Is that all I am... a logarithm with a pretty face and washboard abs?” Attempting to comfort Jayden, I offered him an orange Tic-Tac and genuine hug-out.  “I want Chadron High, Nebraska, the U.S., and world to know how passionate I am in authoring my current regionalism, realism, and naturalism series about mathematicians. Although arithmetically gifted and dashingly gorgeous, narrating these tales through Adobe Voice while tonally appropriate pictures and music enhance the text is a deep desire I can no longer keep hidden in my subconscious shadows.” After a couple more hours of reflection and discussion (and a great many Tic-Tacs) Jayden decided to moderately blend his talents and passionates, creating a bonded power-pack of academic sweetness.  Congrats Jay DAN Stack...English Geek of the Week.   

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Marchellina Antibas

Leonardo (Leo), Michelangelo (Mikey), Raphael (Raph), and Donatello (Donny). These are four of the five most widely known teenage mutants...because they are turtles.  Their fifth sibling, Marchellina (Marcy) was also subject to the Krang-ooze; she is not a turtle who eats pizza and yells “Cowabunga”, thus further perpetuating lackluster notoriety. None-the-less she is fearsome, incognito, intellectual, and carries fruit as weaponry (vitamins are far more influential than a blade).  Her current foe, Hamlet of the Shakespeare Horde, has been ungraciously accepting a masterful booty-kick’n; Master Splinter taught Marcy to show no mercy (especially in the ancient dark arts of literature and tragedy).  So while her ooze brothers are out cruising in the ShellRaiser or teasing the Mousers, Marcy is holding down the fort my friends, and by fort I mean Elsinore not just some weak ambiguous platitude which sounds cool.  Congrats Marchellina Antibas, English Geek of the Week...TURTLE POWER!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Seth Sloan

In walked the Sloan Ranger, duster faded from work and wear, face hardened by struggle and strife. The people in the small western village (known as The Rock) knew and respected this mysterious desperado; the Sloan Ranger fought for the people and by the people as to not perish from the earth. His archrival, nemesis, and foil Dr. Terrible, the English Bandito, once again decided to engage in some shenanigans. At the people’s request, the Sloan Ranger challenged Dr. Terrible, taking down his transcendentalist army of Emerson, Thoreau, and McCandless. Next, he round-house kicked Emily Dickinson, single handedly forcing death to kindly stop for her.  Finally, in an Homeric shootout with Dr. Terrible, the Sloan Ranger again claimed victory acing his Vocabulary Review assessment, mockingly blowing off his Bic Mechanical #2 pencil. Riding off into the sunset, the Sloan Ranger waved to the people and said “Turn-down-for-what!” Congrats Seth Sloan Ranger...English Geek of the Week!