Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Kortney Hageman

Kortney Hageman, aka HKH, was only 13 when True Grit was released in 2010, and a shy -41 when first released in 1969.  Yet, I am sure that no human being on the planet could have played the protagonist better than her.  Only in Fantasy Gum-Drop Fairy La-La Land can human beings complete Shakespearian study guides – without assistance or inquiries – and achieve commendable marks.  WHOA…epiphany… maybe the Shakespeare conspiracy is true; maybe someone other than Shakespeare (namely Kortney) did write a handful of those plays.  Nah, can’t be. HKH would have only been -380 years old, much too young to achieve thematic mastery.  Congrats Kortney, Geek of the Week!

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Tatum Westemeier

Posting an outrageously extreme overall “A” average for the third quarter, Lil’ Tatter is plunging into homebase headfirst at an unrestrained pace.  Underground scholarly circles have dubbed her the “Academic Assassin”, specifically due to her master skills in weaponry: writing and vocabulary.  When abducted and interrogated by a major pharmaceutical company about her cure for Senioritis (which affects 72.2% of high school Seniors each year) she replied with a long stare, throwing of the deuces, and one memorable quote “Get outta the lane, here comes the Tatter Train, Toot-Toot!” 

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Alex Fritzler

“The early bird gets the worm” is an aphorism, which dictates that timeliness and hard work garner a distinct advantage.  Alex Fritzler’s aphorism is “The early bird acquires all the worms, the ranch, a Ferrari, and the Presidency!”  In fact, I do not think a person could wake-up early enough to accomplish more in a day than Alex.  Rumor has it Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Vladimir Putin are currently in a bidding war over his future employment.  So, here’s to you master of efficiency and personifier of effort, Alex Fritzler, Geek of the Week.