Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

B-RAD Cerny

It is time. I tried to hold this fella back, but in the words of Macklemore, ‘the ceiling can’t hold [him]’.  In all actuality, this registered taurus would bring top dollar at any sale barn in the country and be Geek of the Week (G.O.W.) every week (which would defeat the purpose of such esteemed honors).  Multiple individuals have inquired as to why the most prestigious weekly award (the G.O.W.) is not simply titled the B-RAD Distinction; rumor has it he sold his Beowulf/Grendel pictorialization for five figures, published his Chadron Tales poetry anonymously, and sold the publishing rights to his electronic satire book I Clash, about the intricacies and impassioned actualization of ‘Clash of Clans’, for six figures. Awesomeness, at its most rudimentary base, is B-RAD Cerny. Thus, speaking on behalf of humanity, we salute you B-RAD for gracing us with your aura; Congrats Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Sara Tompkins

Although demeaning, abominable, diabolical, calculating, shrewd, lewd, fabricative, and hostile to the English community (especially English teachers) Sara Tompkins (ironically) is a fantastic author of children’s books...specifically satirical children’s books. Her English IV, Block III bestseller Count the Hooligans surged to number one, with voracious ferocity, in the Satirical/Parody Children’s genre.  The story of a departed English instructor and precariously rogue class (as well as extraordinary amounts of glitter) took the publication world hostage; they had never translated such innovation, read such mastery.  So, although her pure hatred and disdain for English teachers is unparalleled, Sara Tompkins is to be awarded the pinnacle of all academic awards...English Geek of the Week.  

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Kiya “The Beast” Passero

Kiya ‘The Beast’ Passero first garnered her sobriquet because of her celestial strength, agility, endurance, and speed. However, for those unfamiliar with The Beast, his premium physical skills are dwarfed in comparison to his cognitive capabilities.  Below is a chart of similarities between Kiya ‘The Beast’ and The Beast (who should probably consider ‘Kiya’ for a nickname).  

Kiya ‘The Beast’ Passero	The ‘Kiya’ Beast
4.0 Student, All-State Athlete (twice), able to heal from career ending injuries, reads for fun, can memorize song lyrics, plans on taking AP courses, eats more than 2500 calories a day, drives a Subaru, can run really-really fast for a really-really long time, stared down a wolf, and recently achieved the highest Junior Research Paper Grade ever.	Expertise in chemistry, physics, differential equations, electronics, nano-effusive devices, anatomy, philosophy, ancient cultures, art history, musicology, and literature. Multilingual (French, Latin, Italian, Spanish, Russian, English). Stopped worldwide destruction on 10+ occasions. Acute senses, dexterity, and regenerative powers not to mention incredible strength, stamina, speed, durability.

Congrats Kiya ‘The Beast’ Passero, English Geek of the Week!