Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Kane Wellnitz

Battered, assailed, pulverized, minced, trashed, throttled - Kane has encountered every verb and adjective connotative to a challenging, strenuous course load in Advanced Placement Literature and Composition yet rose from the ashes of battle dripping in enemy blood (looking like Hugh Glass [Leonardo Dicaprio] in The Revenant, but still victorious). By week uno in month Mayo I was proudly exclaiming ‘WELLNITZ’ instead of ‘well, nitz’ as Master Kane was posting a respectable average on poetry, prose, free response essays and a salty average on multiple choice tests. Osmosis, magic, trial-’n-error, or fortitude I know not, but Kane (adapting a quote by Red from The Shawshank Redemption) ‘crawled through thirty-six weeks of the foulest stinking literary river I cannot imagine and came out clean on the other side’. Congrats Kane Wellnitz, Geek of the Week.    

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Megan Tidyman

Regurgitation, although necessary to the survival of many worldly species is (in plain terms) vile, loathsome, and inconceivable to the average mortal. Voluntarily (or special cases involuntarily) requiting a delicious entree to share with a friend or again indulge and ruminate in oneself is...yummy. Imagine then the horror I sacrificially endured reading pupil plot puke from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn repeatedly; even Stephen King would gasp...that is until reading Megan Tidyman’s plot analysis. I felt salvaged and forgiven! Fresh new terms such as ‘introduces’, ‘reveals’, ‘builds’, and ‘illustrates’ entered my consciousness (and I giggled). Happiness and hope filled my soul. At that moment I knew the cognitive dimension, a pillar in the essence of humanity, was preserved for yet another day - “Maktub”! Congrats to Megan Tidyman - English Geek of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Clay Madsen and Kiya Passero

I wonder the odds, spread, and over-under value in a physical, academic, and intellectual tag-team heptathlon between Clay Madsen/Kiya Passero (Claymore/Beastie) and He-Man/She-Ra (Master of the Universe/Princess of Power). Prolly the all-time highest Pay-Per-View ratings in history, except the contest wouldn’t be, because Claymore/Beastie made viewing the contest free and won the first heptathlon event ‘Merit’. Sure He-Man/She-Ra would most likely win ‘Swordsmanship’, ‘Eternia Knowledge’, ‘Large Cat Riding’, but Claymore/Beastie are true professional record setters. In fact, they scored 17% higher than the class average on EXAMLET, not including their ‘To Be’ speech memorization bonus. Factoring in that Beastie can eat 10% of her body weight in ranch dressing (‘Condiment Eating’) and Claymore looks radical in a double baldric (‘Battle Gear Dress’) my bet is on the Madsen/Passero duo. Congrats Clay and Kiya and being bodacious Geeks of the Week.

Geek of the Week

(An unconventionally sweet and awesome honor!)

Afton Bryant

MacGyver [readers younger than thirty years of age need to Google this feather haired-polymath-stud horse] is retiring from the Phoenix Foundation and seeking a replacement. Supposedly Chadron High School is the location of his replacement. Supposedly a member of the Senior class possesses a worthy code cracking, corruption punting, broad thinking individual ready to thwart the enemies of the world. Supposedly Afton Bryant is in Macgyver’s crosshairs - wait, poor analogy - as Macgyver uses no weapons. Anywho, Afton already carries a plethora of survival necessities daily (and knows how to use them), is currently earning stunningly high marks breaking various literary codes in Hamlet (because evildoers are often Shakespearian prodigies), and is currently only in need  of understanding how a wooden toothpick, stick of Wrigley’s chewing gum, standard 2” paperclip, and empty Pringles can serve as the universal linkage and swash plate for a chopper in distress. Congrats Afton Bryant, English Geek of the Week (keep up the great work).